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Friday, May 1, 2015

In the quiet of night...

Hebrews 4:12 says that the word of God is living and active. If you know me well you know that sleep is something that I've never had much of a problem with. Well, the last couple of months have been full of sleepless nights and many have been spent in the recliner. Last night as I reclined and looked up at the windows and out to the night sky there was an eerie quiet in the house. The TV wasn't on, my husband wasn't snoring, the air conditioning wasn't running, the ice maker wasn't pulling in water, the dishwasher wasn't finishing, the washing machine and dryer were quiet as mice, no toddler was crying, no 5 year old was standing at the top of the steps asking to sleep on the couch, no kitty was rustling around in the litter box and the two hound dog fur babies weren't barking. It was honestly creepy. During the day I crave silence, quiet and solitude and then when it happens I feel trapped and the quiet begins to suffocate me.

The days are filled with so many activities and requirements that there is little time to stop and let my mind get the best of me. You've probably heard the saying that an idle mind is the devil's playground and for me that is certainly true. Have you ever been so wrapped up in day to day life that you finally arrive at that quiet time you've been craving and it scares the crap out of you? Last night I was truly at a loss for words. I didn't know what to say. I felt this urge to just talk to God, but I had no words. There are many days that I'm almost afraid to just lay it all out there because I'm so full of emotions that if I let some of it out it might all break the dam and then we will have a flood. Is my heart prepared. Is my relationship with God and my faith in him strong enough to serve as an ark to carry me through the flood?

As I sat there in the recliner amidst the mind altering quiet I thought about the song that has been my friend for many years. Word of God Speak by MercyMe. I was truly at a loss for words for no particular reason. Then it occurred to me...YOU BIG DUMMY! The last thing I needed was to be heard. I needed to listen. I needed to listen for Him to speak to me and to just be in His presence. That was and is what my soul craves. As my mind, heart and soul turned to commune with Him the Devil lost. I didn't give in to the temptations of worries and fear. I gave in to the One who gave so much to me. As I covered up in the recliner, sniffled another sniffle thanks to my sinuses I resigned to sleeping in the recliner yet again. However, I was in a different place. I felt peaceful and ready for rest. I silently thanked God for His time with me tonight and for the blessings of today and the ones tomorrow would bring. As I ended my prayer I felt four little paws walking up my leg and my sweet little Leo crawled up on my chest and laid down over my heart. It might not seem like much but it was a physical reminder that my heart belongs to God and that in order to keep the Devil out I have to make more time to commune with God daily without the distractions of this world.

If you are like me and you are constantly on the go I dare you to carve out some time and simply exist. It might be watching the sunset, listening to the sounds of night on the porch, walking around the block, or whatever will give you QUIET time. Beyond the music and noise all you need is to be with Him. In the quiet you will hear His voice.

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